slickaway's thoughts on the matter

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Sitting in church, thinking of sex

I'll be sitting at lunch, eating pasta again and trying to block out as much noise as I can, and I'll remeber that I have not thought about him all day. And then I can't stop seeing him in everything.

That waiter is wearing glasses. Conor took his contacts off at night and wore his glasses.

The boys here wear sparkles on their shirts and designer jeans. Conor would never wear something like that.

That man just thanked me in German. Conor taught me how to say 'You're welcome' in German.

And the list goes on.

And then I'll be sitting in church while the priest says his sermon in a language I can't understand, and I'll find my mind wandering over and over again to any night we slept together. I'll think of the way he winked at me in and out of bed. I'll think of the way he twitched inside me and just how good that felt, especially when he started doing it on purpose. I'll think of how I would be sitting on top of him and he would grab me, pull me down, press up and just how amazing THAT felt. I'll think of lying down in the tent on one of our cots naked together under the sleeping bag and listening to the rain and thunder overhead.

And it doesn't even hurt.

12:48 a.m. - 2009-09-17

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what came before - what comes next

The Here and Now

The Time Before

The Sara

The Public

The World is Full of Surprises

DiaryLand

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