slickaway's thoughts on the matter

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Je veux lui.

I just want him so much. He's everything I want in a man.

He's funny, loves music, camps and is outdoors all the time, and he's sexy as hell. I mean, so beautiful. We are attracted to each other, but I can't seem to carry a conversation with him like she can.

I love kissing him, and having sex with him, and being alone with him. I love listening to him talking, and talking with him. I like joking and drinking with him. I like his sense of humor. He's smart and he works hard. I could learn things from him.

He doesn't baby me, or expect me to act like a girly girl. He doesn't check over his shoulder all the time to see if I'm okay, which for me is a good thing. I like that he knows I can take care of myself.

We work well together. But he has someone waiting for him in Montreal. Someone he is flying out to meet in just a few weeks. And I'm okay with that. I knew about it before we started this whole thing. But I definitely would like him for myself.

I don't know what to think. About myself, about the situation, about him. I know from friends that his main complaint about his ex's are that they were needy, and A is going to be very needy. J seems to think that this is all going to end in disaster for the two of them, but even then, I live on the other side of the country, and it is a big country to live on the other side of. We would still have nothing. I think.

Leaving out the fact that I am fucking my good friend's soon-to-be boyfriend, I don't think she would take it too kindly if she found out that I was going to start dating him after they broke up. Good lord, what am I doing. They haven't even started dating yet and I am already thinking of when they split up.

I'm comfortable with our relationship right now. We are having sex and having fun and hanging out with each other. This is working. And while it doesn't hurt when he talks about A with me, or when she calls on the phone, it does make me feel uncomfortable and makes my stomach squeeze.

Why can't I have him.

If I lived here, I could have him all I wanted...once they were done I suppose.

2:56 a.m. - 2009-08-06

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